Prayer. The Most Powerful and Precious Tool accessible to each one of us.
Many times when we kneel down to pray, we make it our goal to come up with the most elaborate, eloquent prayer we can come up with. We find this kind of praying in the New Testament where it had become a doorway for the Pharisees to boast of their godliness instead of a sincere conversation with their Creator. Though it is true that in Prayer we are talking to the King of Kings, we must also remember that the King desires a personal level of relationship with us where we will be comfortable pouring our heart out to Him in private conversation.
Sometimes, however, if you have not yet experienced, it is impossible to pray with many words. Brokenness and Confusion cloud your mind from all other vocabulary other than one small, heart wrenching word… Why?
All our life we have been told that it is a sin to question God and His reasoning for some of the things He chooses to do and allows to happen in our lives. We are taught to just accept it and move forward. And Though this saying may have some truth to it, I am led to believe that this is not entirely the case.
Many times in the scripture we find instances where people, just like you and I, questioned God concerning circumstances in their lives. King David himself, the man after God’s own heart, several times prayed that same word that so many times is all you and I can say. Why God?
My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?
why art thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring?
My Nana Vaughn was my very best friend. She was the one that I went to for everything and somehow she always had exactly what I needed to hear. Though I love all of my family dearly, Nana was the closest person to me in my life.
In the latter part of 2014, my Pap faced a lot of sickness and had to undergo heart surgery. During this time there were several instances that we thought we were going to lose Him. My Nana stayed by his side through all of it, except for the times we would make her go home to rest.
A few months later we could tell a little difference in Nana which we just put off as all of the stress she had been through taking care of my Pap during his sickness.
One morning in June of 2015 we took my Nana to the Emergency room thinking she had broken a rib from a fall she had experienced prior. Never had we prepared ourselves for the words we would hear a few short hours later. We left Holston Valley Hospital that day to walk the darkest valley I had ever had to face.
My Nana had Pancreatic Cancer.
We were told that she would make it til at least Christmas but just three weeks later on July 11, 2015 God chose to call my Nana home to be with Him.
I cannot tell you how many times that year I found myself crying, pleading, and yes sometimes screaming to God for an answer as to why He chose to take my Best-friend from me.
Coming on 5 years later, I now can see some part understanding as to Why God moved the way that He did but I have to realize that it is not in my ability to truly understand the Why.
His ways are so much Higher than ours, in such a way that our finite minds cannot comprehend the greatness of his power.
I have however learned that it is okay to ask Why. When I come broken before Him and bring my simple words of question, it opens the door for Him to bring in His peace and speak to my Heart.
In closing, At Calvary we find the greatest example of why it is okay to ask Why when Jesus himself proposed the question to God before He accomplished his Passion.
And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?
When all you can say is Why, Ask on. I have learned He is always right there ready to speak the answers to your Heart.